But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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