Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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