Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
