next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
