She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
