ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
