You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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