On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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