it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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