No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
