If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
