I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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