i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
