Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
