I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
My balls are so social today.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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