You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
