I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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