Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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