After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
