oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
