Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
