it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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