Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
