Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
