yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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