they need to just BURY HIM!
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He shit in the fireplace
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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