I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
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