The maid of honor just puked.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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