hotel room ftw
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
