lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
