I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
