Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
