she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
