the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
