She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
