I wish I could punch you in the face.
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
