Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
