Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
