she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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