well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
