New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
