you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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