It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
do herpes really smell.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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