New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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