I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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