jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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