Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
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