And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
