you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
