i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
