when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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