Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
