i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
