I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
