My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
