This is not my ceiling
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
