Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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