never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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