Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
