just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
