Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
