What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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