You work out of a Hotel?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
