I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
