I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
