i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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