I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
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