Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
