Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
