i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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