That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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