I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
