She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
